Welcome back, everyone! I know it’s been a while since I’ve shared a new post!
Life has been a little crazy since my last post, hence the delay. I rode in the Pan Mass Challenge ‘23 and have been training for PMC ‘24 (I know, I need to write a post about the experience), and my wife and I moved across the country!
But about a month ago I received an amazing surprise that made me very excited to get back into writing! Brian reached out to me with an extremely moving story of faith and resilience, hoping that telling it might help others who might be dealing with a similar situation. I am honored that he’d offer me the privilege of getting to know him and share his experiences with the world.
I won’t talk too much since this is Brian’s story to tell, but I will say this: he has been through some seriously tough times. Over and over again, Brian has been hit with obstacles that would trip up anyone. But he keeps fighting. He keeps getting back up and saying “screw you cancer, you can beat me down as much as you want but you will not win.” He is an inspiration to me, and I think by the time you get to the end of his story he will be an inspiration to you too!
The following is written by Brian himself – Enjoy!
“I thought that I would share with you why I am often requesting prayers. Some people know, and some don’t, and the prayers keep coming. I need the prayers and positive vibes for strength, and the strength that God gives helps me to keep going. I will start from the beginning.
In 2012, I was sentenced to 4 years in a maximum-security prison in Florida for something that I thought at the time was a good thing. It wasn’t, and I paid the price. While in prison, I had some problems with some officers because I was from Philly, and they didn’t like my accent, although I thought the same about them. I was gassed, beaten, and starved, put in solitary confinement, and this went on for a few years until I was transferred to a minimum-security prison. I used God to lean on, and He taught me many things about myself.
When I was released in 2016, I returned to Philly, and I was doing okay until one day I noticed a lump on my neck, and I started to get sick. But I thought it was just a swollen gland. One day I woke up, and the pain in my neck became unbearable, and I had to go to the ER. When I went to the ER, the lump on my neck was the size of a small lemon. The doctor ran some tests, and an oncologist came to see me. It turned out that the lump was a tumor, and I had cancer in my throat, left tonsil, and mouth. I was told that I needed emergency surgery and chemotherapy and radiation immediately because it was advanced, giving me about a month to live. I was literally in for the fight of my life, or this stage 4 cancer was going to take me. I went through the treatment, and it was brutal, to say the least. The entire treatment, and I was 190 lbs when I started treatment, and when I was done I weighed 113 lbs soaking wet. I couldn’t even take my last treatment because the radiation gave me a ringing in my ears, and I already had tinnitus from the Army and getting shot, but this made me really hard of hearing and the new ringing is permanent. I would literally go deaf with only the ringing, and I would have literally gone completely insane. I was a wreck and a shell of a man, but God gave me the strength to survive.
At the end of my treatment, I met my soulmate, and as sick as I was, God sent me south to be with her. She is now my beautiful wife, Debbie. I moved here, and I was in good hands, and I started to recover. Deb is also a retired nurse, and she helped me through so much that I could never repay her. She and I have so much in common you would never believe it, and I will save that for my next book I’m thinking of writing. I was still weak and sick, and I started to become dependent on opioid meds. I didn’t know much about pills, but I was getting prescriptions for morphine, oxys, and percocets, and I started to drink on top of it all. I started to have problems, and they were getting worse, and I was treating Deb horribly, and she deserved so much better, but she stayed right by my side and was definitely my ride or die soulmate.
After a few months, I started to stagger. I would get waves of pain that literally would knock me down. My mouth and throat were still bloody raw, and I couldn’t really eat, but I could pop and snort pain pills and drink into oblivion. I woke up one day, and I was in so much pain that Deb took me to the doctors. The doctors were looking at my records and taking tests, and they told me that due to the cancer treatment, the C3 & C4 discs in my neck were deteriorating, and it was bad. We went for different opinions, but the same results, and I needed surgery ASAP because I could go paralyzed at any moment. I had a problem, though; no doctor wanted to touch me because there was so much scar tissue around the discs that if one little nerve got damaged, I would wind up either paralyzed or in serious permanent pain.
During this time, I started to stray from God and was a wreck. Deb hung in there through all of this, and I wasn’t fair to her, and I kept on with the pills and drinking, and Deb kept on with the praying. We found a doctor in Odessa, Texas, who would take on the surgery, and the guy did his residency at Temple in Philly. The doctor warned me that if he opens me up and the scar tissue is too severe, he was going to stitch me up, and eventually, I would be paralyzed. At this time, I experienced severe pain in my legs, lost the feeling in my hands, I would fall down without the booze, and I agreed with everything, and I had surgery, and the doctor replaced my C3&C4 discs. The surgery was a success, or so I thought, but the feeling returned in my hands, and I could walk around without falling. I was still popping opioids and drinking, though.
One day that I can’t explain, but I will say that all hell broke loose on my body, and I had to get to a doctor. Deb and I had moved from that area of Texas to another area. We found doctors and had opinions given, and basically it was the same; even though the surgery was a success at first, nerves somehow got pinched in the area, and there was nothing that could be done at this point. I was falling down again, and I had peripheral neuropathy in my hands, and I was in pain again, but this time I was experiencing severe pain in my gums and my teeth. I was in my 50s, but I still had all of my teeth and never ever had a cavity. My teeth were now rotting away, and it was horrible. Turned out that they should have removed all my teeth before treatment because of this, but in their defense, there was no time to get them pulled out. I was a complete train wreck, but my beautiful wife was right there by my side. Deb has endured so much, but she never gave up on me, and she saw things in me that I never knew about myself, like love. We have both been hurt, and we understand each other’s pain.
I had a rotted mouth; I couldn’t even kiss Deb because of the nasty situation in my mouth, like my saliva glands were fried, and I can’t even spit because it’s what I call muck mouth. One day I got on my hands and knees, and I asked God why? I can’t really explain what I felt, but it was definitely spiritual. I would have already overdosed, and if it weren’t for Deb, I would be dead from all of the opioids and booze I was on. I was spiritually defeated, and I was about to lose the only person in my life who actually did love me. I knew that she was special, and I would never have anyone like her love me again. During that specific prayer, I felt a calming sensation that I never ever felt, and I knew right away that God was present. I have always believed in God and Jesus, and I believe that angels are among us, and you become a better person by being kind to others. I would like to think that I have always been a good guy and do God’s work wherever I can. I got up from that prayer with a strength that I can only explain as God in me, and I knew I was heard, and I would be okay.
That was 4 years ago, and I haven’t had a drink, pill, or even a cigarette after that prayer. I have made amends to those I owe it to, and I tried to right many wrongs. I know that it could be a lifetime for that to happen. Most of all, I drew closer to Deb, and I have been here for her the best I could. We haven’t even had an argument, and we are near each other 24/7, and most people I know would not have the patience to do this. I married Deb 4 years ago, but it seems like it’s only been a year, and time is going faster and faster.
I have been experiencing a sharp pain in my groin area, and my hands are acting up like they did years ago. By the way, if you have ADD, hand problems like peripheral neuropathy, I suggest that you go get a PlayStation because I had severe issues with my hands, and no medication has helped like playing PlayStation or painting and doing models and even jigsaw puzzles. It helps way better than meds. The pain in my groin and lower back has gotten worse, so we had tests done a few weeks ago, and it turns out that the cancer has returned, and I have tumors on my liver and kidney, and they need to be surgically removed next week on my birthday.
I know that most people are not even going to make it reading this far, but I want to let y’all know what is going on. Today I have many things to be grateful for: my beautiful daughter Nicole, who should write a book of her own because she has been through a lot and could help many others. Deb and I are so proud of her and love her very much. Something else happened to me too – God revealed to me that I have another child, but by blood only. He’s an exceptional young man with a beautiful family of his own.
Today I talk to God daily, and I don’t care where I am, I pray, and I know for a fact that it works. I will close with this: God works, God will give you the strength and patience if you ask… So thank you all for the prayers, they are sincerely appreciated. Every single one of them.”
Thank you so much, Brian, for sharing such a remarkably inspiring story. You have so much to be proud of, and you have a sense of resilience that is unmatched. You have the definition of a survivor state of mind, that’s for sure!
To anyone else out there that would like to share your experience with cancer, how it has affected your life, and what messages you’d like to send out to others who may be going through similar experiences, please feel free to reach out to me! I would love to help you tell your story just like Brian did here, and like Robert did in the previous Survivor Story!
As always guys, I’m available through my contact page if you have any questions, tips of your own, topics you would like to see covered, or just feel like chatting to someone that’s been through it. I am always here for you.
-Alex
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Featured images on this post are straight from Brian himself!